You are your toughest critic. For most of us, this is true. It manifests in different ways, sometimes disguising as something else. It could be disparaging thoughts running through your mind as you try to fall asleep. Maybe it’s fear of being rejected by others. Fear of starting that business because “you can’t possibly do that”. We have all experienced this criticism. It isn’t always easy to give yourself grace. In fact, we are often last on our own lists.
Give yourself grace.
What it means to me
Grace to me, means forgiveness, patience, and faith. It is being as loving with yourself as you are to your precious babies and your amazing friends. Grace is about acceptance. Love. Patience. Gratitude.
Give yourself grace.
Fear and forgiveness
I went to a retreat at Kripalu with a good friend (highly recommend!) and one of the seminars was about fear. An exercise we did was about letting go of anger, frustration, resentment and forgiving. It entailed writing out long had as if we were writing to someone what we were angry about and then writing out, I am willing to forgive you. This specific wording was used because you might not feel ready to forgive. But you are willing to forgive. You can start down that path. Giving yourself grace might mean forgiving yourself for something, or maybe forgiving someone else. Holding on to anger and resentment toward someone else is only hurting you. I’m not saying it is always easy. Letting go can be incredibly difficult but it’s worth it to try. Make it happen.
Give yourself grace.
Mistakes are good
Everyone makes mistakes. Many of the greatest advancements in technology, industry, and medicine were found by mistake! Many of the MOST successful scientists, business giants, and celebrities all had massive failures and piles of mistakes before they made their mark. The key is, they didn’t let the mistake or failures get to them. Sure, they have confidence but they are also able to give themselves grace.
Listen to yourself
If you aren’t giving yourself grace and room to breathe, you will be spinning your wheels. Trust yourself. If your body and mind are telling you to take a break, find a way to make it happen. I know it isn’t always easy. Don’t be afraid to ask for help. Your friends and family are willing to help.
Unfortunately, people are often too caught up in their own busy lives to notice when others are struggling. Or maybe, you are hiding it so well that people don’t see the cracks. That happened to me. It took me getting incredibly upset to get the support I needed from someone in my life because they said I seemed just fine. I was getting everything done and seemed calm. Inside, I was falling apart and incredibly stressed. I could feel the cracks forming.
Sometimes we even hide the cracks from ourselves. Ignoring the signs and plowing ahead. Don’t ignore your inner voice. Give yourself grace.
If you feel out of control, unable to keep up, always messing things up….give yourself grace. Forgive. Slow down. Breathe. Take a minute to think about what is really important.
Prioritize
Life can get overwhelming and part of giving yourself grace is being able to prioritize. Being able to say no to things that don’t light you up, bring joy to your life or your families life. Don’t feel guilty about it. Give yourself grace.
Confidently and kindly eliminate anything from your life that is unnecessary or weighs you down.
Surround yourself with the right people
You might be surprised to think that surrounding yourself with the right people is part of giving yourself grace. In order to fully be kind to ourselves it can really help to have positive, loving people in our lives who see all the good in us (and there is SO much good!). The ones we can call when the criticism in our heads gets a little too loud and we need to replace it with encouraging voices. Call on your tribe to be those voices. They will be glad to do it and you will be there for them when they need it.
Friends can help us see when we aren’t giving ourselves grace. They know us so well they can see the cracks before we do sometimes.
Show others grace
Be free with your compliments and encouragement. Even if they don’t seem like they need it, people always do. Too often people are excellent at hiding what they are dealing with. They don’t want to seem weak. Or out of control. Don’t let that be you. Find someone you can trust to be who you really are. Show them your cracks. I have found that the more I am open and honest with someone, the more they are too. They are encouraged by my willingness to share the hard stuff and thus are willing to open up a bit as well. Be kind to that trust. Always show love and kindness to someone when they open up to you.
Do not allow others to make you feel bad if you open up to them. They aren’t your people. You don’t need friends like that in your inner circle. Your inner circle can be your lifeline during the difficult parts of your life. Guard that circle fiercely and be judicious about who you let in. Your outer circle of friends can be as full as you like, but the inner circle is special.
Ways to help give yourself grace
- eat well
- exercise
- meditate – work on releasing any criticism or negativity
- take time for you and do something you enjoy
- do something that will make you laugh
- take a walk in nature and really be mindful of what is around you
- turn all the screens off – try it for a whole day – I promise it’s worth it
- prioritize tasks and say no to low priority things
What works for you?
I would love to know how you give yourself grace. What’s your inspirational story? We as women and mothers can learn so much from each other’s experiences. I believe it is important to share the good and the difficult so that no one feels alone. A mother should never feel alone. We are here for each other. I am here for you.
You are amazing, beautiful, imperfect, and learning. We all are. Give yourself grace. Give others grace. The world needs all the grace it can get.
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